Thursday, March 24, 2011

Jason's Post

So my neighbor, Jason, requested a post about toilet paper. I aim to please, so here goes...

The Government has really saved some money in the quality of the TP that they purchase for us. Evidently they don't understand that we aren't the military, but instead are a bunch of civilians.

In Dubai, however, things got a bit weird in this area.

Look at the picture below. This is a picture of the bathroom in my hotel room. Looks normal, right?

Except, take a look at the toilet area...

See the hose thing to the left?
Here is a better view.

Looks just like the kitchen sprayer at your kitchen sink, right? That what I said. But why put it by the toilet?

When I get to a hotel room and have questions about things, I consult the big book that comes in the desk. How do I get on the internet? Do they have HBO here? What do they serve at the restaurant? What the heck is the hosey thing next to the toilet for?

Sadly, the book answered many of my questions, guessed "hosey thing" information, instructions, diagrams, etc.

As I was not going to call the front desk and ask, I was left to my own imagination and deduction.
I'm guessing that thing is the Middle Eastern version of the bidet. To put it delicately for younger readers...for cleaning the hither and yon areas...undercarriage if you prefer...or call it Australia (get it? land offense to Australians)...

Again, I didn't ask, so I'm just speculating.

Let me interrupt for a second and say that I did not touch this thing...didn't go near it. I'm just guessing based on its proximity to the toilet that it is not for watering the pun intended.

I've used the kitchen sprayer at my sink, for spraying various kitchen things, of course. Even when I can see what I'm doing, I still have the occassional errant spray that meks it onto the counter or floor. I can't imagine what would happen if I tried to use the sprayer in a capacity where i could not see at what I was spraying...see where I'm going?

I'm picturing errant spray on the walls, ceiling...and me coming out of the bathroom with thoroughly wet clothes down to my socks and shoes.

As I've said, I did not touch this thing...I'm only speculating.

If anyone knows exactly what this thing is for, DON'T TELL ME...I'm enjoying just speculationg...besides, now I'm constantly on the lookout for people with wet clothing that could have been caused by some errant spray...

Evidently I'm just another uncultured, American yokel abroad...

Jason, hope this answered all your questions...

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